i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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