this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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