Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize