Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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