I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
