just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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