Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
