I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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