Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
