I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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