If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Randomize