I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
