there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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