i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
