whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
