I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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