If i come over, it means nothing
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
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After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
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At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
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