He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
