just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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