i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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