Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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