think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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