ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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