So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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