MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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