okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
