fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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