Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
