Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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