I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
