I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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