The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Hippo gnu deer
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
