Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i drank out of a bidet.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
