I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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