dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
