overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
