im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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