You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
