We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize