but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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