PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
