I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
