After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
