I skipped work to stalk him.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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