YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
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Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
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I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now