Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
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Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
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MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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