If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong