It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We're too hungover to prance.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
