i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
