Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
