hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Randomize
