I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize