i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
