How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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