"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
