Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
