A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize