So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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