I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
