i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
