I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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