Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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