Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
