my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize